Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
COCAINE IS GR8
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
