evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Randomize
