This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Bring me that man meat
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
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