So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Randomize
