he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Randomize
