I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize