How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Randomize
