So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
True college students do jello shots in the library
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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