Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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