dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
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