so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Randomize
