the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Randomize
