She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
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