The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
