I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Randomize