dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
