I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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