I puked a lego.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Randomize
