and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
