I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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