sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize