I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
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