Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I didn't notice because vodka
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
