I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
