the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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