Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
