I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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