I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
