C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize