what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
