My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
