I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
i think my cat just said my name.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
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