I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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