today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize