Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Randomize
