And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize