She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Randomize
