And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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