Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
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