Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
did i just pee glitter
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Randomize
