I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize
