he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
And then my night got REAL pukey
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
