Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize
