I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
