i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
i will never coherently bang her
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
