HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Are my feet made of real feet?
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
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