Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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