At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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