The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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