What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Randomize
