My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
