Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
