i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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