she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Randomize
