Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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