so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
