My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
why do cheetos always look like penises
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Randomize
